<i></i> <i></i> <i></i> 0<p>What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of ancient Egypt? The Pyramids? The Pharaohs? The Mummification process? Centered around celebrating the grandeur of human life on this Earth, Egyptians civilization were way different back in 3000 B.C. than the Egypt of today. Come to think of it, they were even different from the civilizations that co-existed back then! From using cats as Knights in battle to covering slaves in honey to distract flies, the Egyptians sure knew how to live their lives. Here are some accounts of when the ancient Egyptians really went the extra mile in earning the title of the wackiest civilization ever!</p> <h2>9. The purr-fect plan</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-693.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>This probably isn’t the first time you’re going to read that the ancient Egyptians absolutely loved felines. This is true because they worshipped Bastet – a cat headed Goddess. Blessing those who revered her and keeping them in her protection forever, Bastet presided over homes, work places, fire and pregnant women. Considered very sacred to Bastet, cats could never be harmed or injured, otherwise a grave curse would follow. This law however, was exploited by invaders and outlaws alike and during the reign of Psamtik III, the Persians decided to attack ancient Egypt.</p> <p>Knowing of the Egyptians’ love for cats, the Persian leader of the time ordered his men to gather as many cats as possible, before heading into battle. He then ordered his troops to advance to Egypt and his men, armed with cats, surrounded the stronghold of Pelusium, also ordering hundreds of other troops to launch offensives. Due to their love for cats, the Egyptians had no choice but to let the Persian troops in, who proceeded to methodically plunder anyone who dared challenge them. Using not only the cats but also their images as shields, the Persian army effortlessly took over the area, since laws forbade causing any harm to the felines. The Persian leader then took control of that part of Egypt, all the while throwing cats at the people and hurling abuses at their laws. Talk about adding insult to injury! +5 points for cleverness though!</p> <h2>8. Fertility tests</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-694.jpeg"/>midwiferysupplies <p>The ancient Egyptians were a very hardworking people and they relied strongly on their male workforce being strong and mature enough to handle not only laborious work, but also battles. For this, they devised two methods for checking if a woman is fertile enough to give birth a number of times. The first method, which is probably the saner albeit nonsensical, inherently, of the two was rubbing oil all over the woman’s body and leaving her in the nude overnight. In the morning, if the woman was fresh and chirpy, it was ruled that she is fertile. If she woke up anything opposite to this description, it was ruled that she was infertile.</p> <p>Makes perfect sense doesn’t it?</p> <p>Well, if this didn’t, maybe the second method will. To check whether a woman was fertile or not, another method was to simply insert a full onion or clove of garlic into the woman’s vagina and leave it there overnight! Believers of the ‘fact’ that each of the organs and orifices are linked, the doctors performing this rather technical task would take a whiff of the woman’s breath in the morning. If her breath smelled like either of the vegetables placed inside her, she was ruled fertile. If her breath didn’t, however, smell like the veggies, it was ruled that her ‘connecting tubes’ were blocked and she wasn’t good enough to have a baby. Thank God for technological advancements! No way were any of the ladies of today going to stay at the doctor’s because of an onion inside them!</p> <h2>7. The power of makeup</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-695.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>In case you’re wondering, there were no beauty pageants back in the day. The ancient Egyptians believed in eye makeup and the wonderful, mystical healing powers that came with it. Not for cosmetic purposes, the makeup was worn as copied from Horus – the Sun god, who wore similar makeup. Only available in two colors: black and green, the makeup was derived from lead and copper respectively. Though recent studies show both can have fatal consequences if applied in too large an amount, the Egyptians did so anyways. So much so that the sign of a wealthy woman was a portable makeup kit, which had both these colors inside for instant healing and protection. Is this where Sephora came from, ladies?</p> <h2>6. Dire consequences</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-696.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>As we have already established, the ancient Egyptians were believers of labor, hard work and manual effort. This situation was maintained in order only because there were strict laws for anyone who tried to break free of the Egyptian grind. Research about the skeletons found from old burial sites often show gnashes in the shoulder and chest area of some people, especially men. It can be seen that this isn’t from attack, but rather from punishment, which was 100 lashes and 5 wounds! After punishment, the men were sent straight back to work.</p> <p>The penalty for other offences, for example a sexual offence such as fornication or rape could even result in the complete castration of the man or the cutting off of the nose for the woman. The most serious liability however, was incurred by vandals who dared damage monuments. They were to be burned alive, though the Egyptians later abolished this law themselves. Lucky for us, accidentally damaging public property is not a trigger for being burnt to death anymore. Yikes!</p> <h2>5. Let it all out</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-697.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>It’s not like the Egyptians’ habits get any more ‘normal’ as this list passes. The ancient Egyptians, especially the Royal Family, were all heavy eaters and were subject to three royal banquets a day. Their diet comprised of a lot of fatty food, which if it wasn’t for their treatment as we will discover shortly, would make them a likely contender for heart disease. An old Egyptian manuscript actually exists which describes having a heart attack, in great detail. If the Royal Family existed today, there would be heart bypasses a dime a dozen! It’s not too bad though, as you may have noticed that the men from at least the Royal Family are depicted as having toned and slender bodies. This is because they treated themselves to strong laxatives made of Castor oil three times a month.</p> <p>Since there was no indoor plumbing, or actually, no plumbing at all, their Royal Highnesses would have to spend one whole day on what was then considered the toilet. Yes. Let that sink in (pun intended). Think about it though. Is it worth spending one day on the toilet for that beach body? The ancient Egyptians claimed that the Laxatives were helpful since you could let everything out, including any disease you may have. Even diarrhea was treated with laxatives. Yeah.</p> <h2>4. A sticky situation</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-698.jpeg"/>ancient.eu <p>Have you ever been sat at a comfortable place at your favorite restaurant and are about to dig in to that one meal you’ve been dreaming of since a week now? That’s what royal treatment is, if you multiply that by three. There’s one catch though (pun intended). There’s this pesky fly buzzing around that just won’t let you enjoy. Naturally, you want to get rid of it. What’s the best way to do it, you ask? Simple. Cover someone in honey and make them stand in a corner. Voila! All the flies will be stuck on their honey coated exterior.</p> <p>Too weird?</p> <p>Well, Pepi II, the longest reigning ruler in Egypt, never thought otherwise in all his 90+ years of rule. Pepi II hated flies. So much so, that he would have a few servants to stand in the nude, smothered from head to toe in honey. This was his ‘genius’ way of dealing with flies, since they now would be attracted to the honey, and not your food. Pepi II loved this idea of his so much that he had honey-covered servants standing at attention all over the Palace, so there would be no flies. A bit too extreme, don’t you think? Well, his Highness disagrees. No flies please!</p> <h2>3. Hands to yourself</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-699.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Coming back to the point, necrophilia was always a danger, and a very realistic one at that, since all embalmers were male and in some situations, some had been caught engaged in sexual activities with the bodies of dead women. To stop this from happening again, there was a rule that females were to be embalmed only after their bodies had decayed, so there could be no mutilation and disrespect of those who have left this world. We wonder what happened to the embalmers who did the deed with the dead body though. Punishments were indeed, quite strict!</p> <h2>2. Lice to meet you</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-700.jpeg"/>Emaze.com <p>Lice love a full head of hair. These little insects can cause itching and tingling sensations in the scalp, and can cause people to stay away from you since these jump from one head to the other. The most common source of lice was probably the mummified remains of people, and unlike today, the Egyptians didn’t have very effective methods such as sprays to prevent lice from spreading. Instead, they came up with another solution. Both men and women, would simply shave their heads! No hair, no lice! Though men would sport a bald head, women often wore wigs which they could keep switching in event of lice infestation. No fine-combing required.</p> <h2>1. Circumcision</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/c-users-zainab-afridi-downloads-12-10-2359-jpg.jpeg"/>Emaze <p>The ancient Egyptians also practiced circumcision. They thought the extra skin had to be removed in order to ensure a fertile and long lasting penis. Oh well!</p> <p>It was a tradition so common that un-circumcised penises were a novelty and often looked down upon. Just like a woman was tested for fertility, a man was too, by having his penis circumcised. Some writings even talk about Egyptian soldier’s fascination with uncircumcised penises and how they collected them from slain soldiers in conquered lands and brought home as souvenirs. Thankfully, that practice has been lost in the sands of time.</p> <p>So, there you have it. Some weird and wacky traditions the ancient Egyptians had. Which do you think is the weirdest? Let us know!</p> <i></i>