<i></i> <i></i> <i></i> -4<img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-19-10-2430-feature-jpg.jpeg"/> <p>“People assume that most marriages fail because of big bombs—cheating, financial mismanagement, addiction, dishonesty,” says Jessica Elizabeth Opert, a London-based relationship coach. “But the truth is, it’s the small missiles—the everyday action or lack of action—that severs the connection between two people, resulting in a loss of love.”</p> <p>It seems all fun and games until you actually get married. What people tend to miss out on the most these days is whether or not they are ready to spend their entire life with this same person? At times we demand more independence than our partner is willing to give us; but, the temporary love that we feel for that person overshadows it for some time. This naturally results in cheating on our partner with someone else. Another reason could be interdependence. This is when you feel like your intimacy needs aren’t being met by your partner, which is often visible through poor communication, lack of spark, or feeling unloved.</p> <p>If you’re answering ‘yes’ to more than six things on this list, it’s definitely time for a talk about your relationship.</p> <h2>19. Gut-instinct</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1270.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse’s behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign.</p> <p>What made you think that your partner was cheating on you in the first place? Your intuition tells you that something is not right. Go with your gut-feeling. There must be something wrong after all! Otherwise, you’re no crazy psycho-path partner that keeps overthinking little things.</p> <p>Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then talk to him/her about what you’ve found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies.</p> <p>It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars. People who never told a lie before in their lives now act like a pro. Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.</p> <h2>18. Date night has been replace by a new guys-only club</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1271.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Not cool at all guys. Not cool. Date night is a hallmark of marriage, so when your date night with your spouse disappears it might be because they’re having date night with someone else.</p> <p>If your man is a more experienced cheater (apologies for calling him that) he is more likely to go on a date night with you but then end it early saying I have some pending work to do or will come up with some other good excuse. Breaking up the date night is one way you can tell he is probably cheating on you.</p> <h2>17. They no longer want you to do laundry</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1272.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>You may be very happy at first that, thinking “Oh! He has started doing his own laundry. That’s great”. But why such change, is the real question. Your spouse is probably trying to hide some evidence on his clothes or in the pockets and it’s much safer for someone who’s cheating to do their own laundry.</p> <h2>16. You found a credit card in your spouse’s name you didn’t know about</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1273.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Most couples share a joint account. If not, I mean who does not know about the number of their spouse’s credit and debit cards. Truth be told, that’s the first thing you talk about. Accordingly, the couple establishes their budget and has conversations before a big purchase. So, unless there is a work credit card, a secret credit card is pretty hard and fast evidence that you’ve got a cheating spouse.</p> <p>Moreover if you look closely, you may also be lucky enough to find credit card receipts for gifts you didn’t receive or the receipts show purchases from places that are unknown to you. You may also notice an increase in ATM withdrawals on your bank statement. Lastly, THE PHONE BILL. They may start getting a little secretive about their cell phone bills and would voluntarily want to just go pay it themselves just so that you don’t notice those long duration calls that are not made to you.</p> <h2>15. Your spouse is too cool about the cell phone</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1274.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Your immediate reaction when you get to know your spouse is cheating on you is to check their phones. Generally, partners are inclined towards immediately checking their phone (at times with their consent) and scroll through texts and incoming/outgoing calls. The thing to ponder on the most is that why would he give you his phone? And if he does give you full access, he either has a second phone or have deleted all of his call history and texts. Because no one is that dumb!</p> <h2>14. Or, he won’t let you near his phone</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1275.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>He may have passwords on his phone, something that he has never before. They may not even let their kids play with it, something that they used to do very often. Red flag alert!</p> <p>Passwords should be shared in a marriage; there are random times when you need the phone number for the plumber and it’s in your husband’s phone or email account, or you need to check an e-receipt that was sent to your husband. “It’s not that you need a list of his passwords, but when you ask for one for la legitimate reason, he should give it to you. This should not be a big deal. By not telling you the code, your spouse may be admitting to a secret of some sort.</p> <h2>13. Your husband is suddenly Mr. Gift Giver</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1276.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Who doesn’t like surprise gifts? But, it may also be an alarming sign at times. A gift that is completely unrelated to a birthday, anniversary, or work promotion could be a clue that your partner is feeling guilty about something and trying to compensate. Confront your partner.</p> <p>You could say something like: “It’s only been in the last few months that you are bringing me surprise presents. While this is thoughtful, I am wondering if something led you to start doing this.” See what he says and watch how he acts. Also, look for other clues, like if he cancels plans and those long-stem roses are some sort of consolation prize. It could signal you’ve got a cheating spouse on your hands.</p> <h2>12. He has a special Facebook friend</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1277.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Experts say social media have made it easier for people who are inclined to cheat on their significant other to do so with partners both familiar and previously unknown. In today’s era when friendships are judged on the basis of actions displayed on the internet it is easier to judge what is your partner up to these days. He may have this special someone who keeps tagging him on all the memes or write inappropriate stuff on his newsfeed. You may want to confront your partner here.</p> <h2>11. There are blackouts</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1278.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Blackout here doesn’t refer to being unconscious but about a spouse having blackout periods where you don’t know where he or she is, you can’t reach them, and you don’t get a viable explanation about where they’ve been or why they didn’t respond to a call or text. It hardly takes two seconds to send a text and it’s not normal for a married or seriously committed couple to be out of touch for hours wondering what the heck is going on</p> <h2>10. They ditch family time with the kids</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1279.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>When a partner starts pulling away from people and occasions that are usually a high priority, it could be a cause for concern. Every person is unique in how they balance work and family, so the key lies in whether or not a behavior is ‘so not like him.’ Work does get in the way of family occasions and let’s be honest, sometimes it’s a handy “get out of jail free card” for family events he might not be as into. But if your partner has always enjoyed BBQs with the family and kids, and if work has never gotten in the way of events like this before, it raises a red flag.</p> <h2>9. They have new hobbies that exclude you</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1280.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Of course their new hobbies would exclude you. Although it’s wonderful news if your partner takes on a new hobby especially if it contributes to his/her health, but concerns should arise. Is it something that just appeared out of the blue or did he always had a passion for it? Secondly, do they devote an unusual amount of hours and efforts into it?</p> <p>For example: a person who suddenly begins running every night for stretches as long as three hours. One way to gauge the truth is to tell your partner that you support his hobby and it would be nice to follow along on their progress. Then, think about how a person who really is devoted to running would respond. They would likely be proud to share the route they’re mapping out or the time they’re trying to beat. If your partner insists on being vague, that could be a concern.</p> <h2>8. Behavior that just doesn’t add up</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1281.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Is it very common for your spouse to not be at the place where he was expected to be? Are they missing time behind which they have no genuine reasoning? Do they have receipts from place you’ve never even heard about let alone be go to. Is he missing clothes from his wardrobe?</p> <p>This kind of behavior should be an alarming sign for you. You have reasons to suspect cheating.</p> <h2>7. Things you’ll hear</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1282.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Once you confront them, you’ll hear things like we’re just friends or other lost commonly used phrase is that I need you to respect my privacy. That’s an alarming sign, guys.</p> <h2>6. A sudden need for privacy</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1283.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention then something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden.</p> <p>If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse.</p> <p>Big warning sign!</p> <h2>5. You’re doing all the work in the relationship</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1284.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>The person, who gives the most in a relationship, is the person who is less likely to having an affair or cheat because he is the one who is trying to make this relationship work. He is the one who really looks after it and nurtures it, so he naturally wouldn’t want to tear it apart.</p> <p>The problem arises where they are so fixated on the relationship that they forget the person they’re building it with. They are all about building a nice home and a financial future but tend to ignore the needs of their partner.</p> <h2>4. Less talking</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1285.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>If he has generally stopped sharing stuff or is talking less, it could be because he is scared of slipping up. He’ll automatically not want to tell you everything he has been up to lately or what was he doing when you weren’t around.</p> <h2>3. Your friend drops hints</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1286.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>If your partner’s been seen with someone else or confided to a friend who’s then told their partner, friends may try to warn you.</p> <p>Men are more likely to cover up for each other; women feel obliged to give some sort of warning, no matter how subtle. While few people will blurt the news out, many give themselves away by making indirect comments. But its better you blurt it out, you may save a life or two.</p> <p>Pay attention. That passing remark from a friend (‘I was reading a story today about infidelity. God, you just never know, do you?’) could be a warning.</p> <h2>2. He smells differently</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1288.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>When he or she leaves the house in the morning smelling like their usual fragrance and returns in the evening smelling like something else. If your partner smells impossibly fresh and clean after a hard day at the office, could be the affair has already started.</p> <h2>1. He’s changed his appearance</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1290.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Forget the obvious (the wedding ring’s accidentally replaced on the wrong finger or they dropped it down a drain) – look for subtle changes.</p> <p>Has he suddenly lost those few extra kilos?</p> <p>Is he hitting the gym and revamping his wardrobe without a word of criticism or encouragement from you? Could be he’s out to impress someone who’s caught their eye. A sudden change in your partner’s music taste may also be alarming for you, especially if they hated that particular genre before.</p> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-19-10-2430-feature-jpg.jpeg"/>Tapoos.com <i></i>