<i></i> <i></i> <i></i> 5<p><img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-19-10-2433-feature-jpg.jpeg"/></p> <p>Relationships are complicated, however, if they are the right kind, they can be as sturdy as a rock. Individuals usually have their own set of goals when they look for a long-term relationship. However, expectations are rarely fulfilled in quite the way we want them to be.</p> <p>The most common reason cited for divorce in America is listed as incompatibility. In other words, people feel that their partners are just too different for them to stay together. Still, being different from the other person doesn’t mean you have to break up. In fact, there are many couples who were polar opposites of each other and withstood the test of time. Check out a few ways to follow in their footsteps below:</p> <h2>19. The Power of Compromise</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1221.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>As you may have guessed, the essence of any relationship with differences is compromise. If you want it to be successful, that is. Even when a couple is usually in tune with each other, they have to give and take. One could bow to the other’s wishes sometimes, and vice versa. This is needed even if the relationship is not a romantic one.</p> <p>Simply speaking, people are different. Even identical twins find it hard to share a room due to their widely differing habits. The level of compromise and the willingness to compromise can detect how healthy a relationship is. We’ll be looking at more of this below.</p> <h2>18. Don’t Make it Personal</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1223.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>The main crux of any fight that different people experience is the highlighting of a difference. This could be deliberate or come about due to everyday factors. Whatever the case, one needs to know that the other person is not trying to hurt or demean them.</p> <p>In many cases, our core values are set since childhood. This doesn’t mean you can’t fall for someone who doesn’t hold the same values. However, one needs to stay prepared for some eventual clashes. They should not make it part of a personal agenda to change the other person. At the same time, they should not suspect their significant other of trying to change them.</p> <h2>17. Bridges over the Small Stuff</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1225.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Couples may love each other, but the smallest things can drive them apart. When you next have a fight with your spouse, think upon what triggered it. If you can remember the reason, it probably would be a very petty one.</p> <p>Of course, one would say that it was merely a trigger and a sign of something bigger underneath. If the results were serious, like physical, emotional, or verbal assault, then the problem is quite huge. However, successful couples with differences realize that they have to let the small stuff remain small.</p> <p>For instance, a wife may constantly get angry at her husband for not picking up his clothes. He, on the other hand, would simply not care about having dirty clothes on the floor. He may assure his wife he would pick them up, but she gets tired of waiting and does it herself. Eventually, this could lead to a number of disagreements as the wife feels increasingly frustrated at being ignored.</p> <p>Hence, it is important for a couple to have some talks about what they find problematic. Several times, one half may feel strongly about an issue and the other doesn’t. There needs to be communication even on the lowest possible level. After all, they’re spending their lives together.</p> <h2>16. Handling the Problems Right</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1227.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>When successful couples hit a rut, they work together to solve problems. When the rut involves their differences, they know they have to tread a bit lightly. Again, compromise comes in handy here. Another element for dealing with problems is discussion and communication.</p> <p>While no one has time for a drawn-out conversation every day, discussions don’t have to be long or difficult. It may be just as easy as putting down the phone, facing your partner, and hashing things out. It may even be a little spontaneous session of putting their heads together before the kids get up.</p> <h2>15. Compromise Isn’t a Price</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1229.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Couples with differences need to realize one important thing if they want to stay together. It is this: compromise is not weakness. Some individuals make the mistake of thinking that they need to stand up for themselves no matter what. They hence want to control every aspect of the relationship and wouldn’t budge on anything.</p> <p>In such cases, the couple may stay together for a long time. However, the relationship would not be a healthy one. The expectations would be so high on one side that the other side would constantly fall short of them. It wouldn’t be for the lack of trying, but the lack of self-reflection on the controlling side.</p> <h2>14. Too Much of a Good Thing</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1231.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>On the other hand, some individuals are ready to compromise a tad too much. They may think that their own values or lifestyle isn’t important enough. They thus let the relationship overshadow their whole lives. This way, the balance of compromise get knocked way off track.</p> <p>If a husband is content to eat vegan for a time because his wife insists upon it, he’s not helping. Eventually, he would get tired of such a lifestyle forced upon him when he doesn’t believe in it. This would lead to an exhaustion and resentment in the relationship. And the blame is not on one, but both sides here.</p> <h2>13. It’s Not an Altar</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1233.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Then there are some people who give up their own identity for the sake of the relationship. This is probably the unhealthiest part of compromising way too much. They have differences, but they don’t appreciate the fact that they are their own people, after all.</p> <p>The result is that one person tries to be too much like the other. They either have the notion that they need to be exactly alike in order to be happy or else sacrifice themselves. Both options are unhealthy and can spell doom for any relationship.</p> <h2>12. Settling for a Win-Win</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1235.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Another habit of successful happy couples is making sure every compromise turns out benefiting both parties. After all, they with each other, and profess love. When you love someone, you want to see them happy.</p> <p>So for instance, one person may bend a little but ask for leeway in some other issue. There are levels of seriousness when it comes to differences. Hence, one person may be willing to allow their kids to attend religious services. However, they may insist on choosing a secular school for them.</p> <h2>11. Upward Negotiations</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1237.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>When it comes to adjusting expectations, negotiations need to remain positive. One person not wanting to visit extended family at Christmas does not mean they hate those people. It could simply mean they want a cozy holiday with their inner circle. At the same time, the partners could mutually decide on going to visit on Thanksgiving instead.</p> <h2>10. Mutual Adjustments</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1238.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>If mutual benefits aren’t always an option, then the couple should decide on mutual losses. For instance, one person wants to sleep in complete darkness and the other wants the lights on. They could compromise on a nightlight. This way, neither gets what they want, but the result is enough to get them by.</p> <h2>9. Saving the Core</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1239.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Couples also need to be aware of the importance of core values. If one is an atheist, he or she shouldn’t be hoping to take down the belief of their religious partner. They could still have a successful relationship by agreeing to respect that part of their lives. More importantly, they keep it separate. The non-religious person doesn’t have to attend religious gatherings.</p> <p>The main point here is mutual respect. Core values are near impossible to change. Hence, the only way out is acknowledging them and staying on. If this cannot happen, the only option may be moving on.</p> <h2>8. Differences Make for Richness</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1240.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Couples also need to realize that variety really is the spice of life. If you get a partner who’s always just like you are, life could get very boring. On the other hand, trying out what your partner enjoys or values could lead to exciting and uplifting experiences.</p> <h2>7. Value the Niceties</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1241.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Communication needs to stay open all the time. This means that the other person needs to feel just how important they are. Unfortunately, many couples tend to get so comfortable that they neglect the little formalities.</p> <p>You may get the same answer each time you ask about their day, but that doesn’t mean you stop asking. Who knows, it may be the one thing that soothes and relaxes them. A little routine is nice and comfortable. Nothing wrong with keeping it humming.</p> <h2>6. Fights are Fights</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1242.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Just like the small stuff, fights can remain just what they are. Small disagreements don’t always have to signal something serious.</p> <p>Anger could stay for days at a time, but that doesn’t mean the love is gone. At all events, couples should try to work things out even if it means seeing a professional. Most times, however, conflicts need to stay in their corner and life goes on.</p> <h2>5. Accepting their Role</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1243.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>As partners, your place is by each other’s side. For instance, you both accompany each other to work events. This is a default, though it may be negotiable a couple of times. However, one half of a couple may detest social events. Still, they should realize their responsibility and make an effort for the other person’s sake.</p> <h2>4. Giving Space</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1244.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>However, attending each and every event with your significant other is not mandatory either. If one doesn’t feel like going and the gathering is an informal one, going alone shouldn’t be that hard. Going to places for the sake of being seen together gives outside people way too much power over your relationship. Frankly speaking, they are not worthy of it.</p> <h2>3. Thinking of the Other Person</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1245.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>A little thoughtful surprise can show the other person how much you cherish them. In our daily lives, we may start feeling neglected. So it may not be your cup of tea to stop for flowers on the way home. It could be a huge deal to your wife, though. It may even reassure her that you still adore her even after the tiny disagreements.</p> <h2>2. Having a Life</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1246.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>One half of a couple may have a lot of friends. The other half has a select few. Neither group may like the other. And that’s ok.</p> <p>It’s perfectly fine for one partner to go out with just their friends for a night. They don’t have to stay home every single weekend. On the other hand, the other person could do what works for them. If they find it hard to go out, they could schedule in some time for themselves. As long as the time apart isn’t growing too frequent, having a life away from each other is actually healthy.</p> <h2>1. Making Time</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/word-image-1247.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Along with ‘me’ time, there is ‘us’ time. There should be some gaps in routines that allows for a night of snuggling, talking, and enjoying each other’s company. This way, they would never stop falling in love nor forget how they fell in love in the first place.</p> <p>If they see themselves falling prey to other commitments, successful couples make time for each other. This could mean canceling a meeting, refusing an invitation, or hiring a babysitter to go out. It’s a good idea to set up a date night once a week. That way, a couple of nights out with friends wouldn’t really matter.</p> <p>Both partners would feel appreciated, and the differences wouldn’t really matter so much. It’s when we stop connecting that we feel the differences are way too glaring.</p> <p>In conclusion, if you truly love your significant other, differences shouldn’t get in the way of your happiness. With both of you working at your bond and supporting one another, you could be together forever! The divorce rating going up doesn’t mean you have to contribute to statistics. Focus on your relationship in your own little world, and stop worrying so much about what should be.</p> <i></i>