<i></i> <i></i> <i></i> -1<p><img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/11/c-users-admin-downloads-10-11-2704-b-jpg.jpeg"/></p> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/11/word-image-956.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>There are many times in life when one comes across a heartbreaking tragedy, a bitter dose of reality that leaves you with no explanation or understanding of ehy it happened. Quite often I have come across tear-jerking accounts of mothers who have lost a child to a disease like cancer or of young people who have passed away in their prime years. When I hear about such tragedies I’m reminded of a truth that I would never want to admit to; too often the young are taken from us , leaving behind a community to mourn their early passing, leaving their dreams and aspirations behind and leaving their grieving parents behind who sometimes in their helplessness ask “Why? Why was our child taken from us?” and when I think about such loss I shudder because I can’t imagine burying an old loved one let alone a young person.</p> <p>A mother who carries her baby for nine months, who plans her unborn vhild’s life only to lose her baby goes through so much pain and suffering and those around her ask why does she faced so much pain? Why is it so unfair that some people live up to a 100 while others have their journey on this earth come to an end so soon? The answer to these questions is looked for by many, yet the question is asked differently depending on one’s affliction. But the gist of all such questions is why does humanity suffer? Why are we surrounded by so much pain and grief? The answer? Well it is a different answer for each.</p> <h2>Finding healing with faith</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/11/word-image-957.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>For those who believe in a higher power the answer is to trust and accept God’s plan. Even if you do not understand it at the time be patient and strong and pray for better times. Faith literally means complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Therefore for people who believe in God or any higher power are then able to hold on to a sliver of hope. They stay afloat in a sea of seeming despair by making some sense of why they lost someone who was supposed to enjoy many more years ahead of them.</p> <p>A young boy who was supposed to grow up to be a handsome young man, to graduate from college to become a contributing member of society. Or a young girl who had plans for the future who dreamed she would one day achieve what she set her mind to, only to be taken away at her prime. Though above all it is hard for parents who lose their babies who had looked forward to their child’s first words, their first day of kindergarten and their first birthday. It’s hard for them to grasp the reality that they have been subjected to. Faith helps people to get out of all the hopelessness, to find comfort in strength and to believe that things will get better. There is a saying “I will walk by faith even when I can’t see”. It is like a candle in the darkness which is like a beacon of hope although you are surrounded by pain and sorrow.</p> <p>Suffering develops confidence and strengthens your faith. A person may feel like it is the end of the world when facing adversity only to realize later on that whatever happened helped in making them stronger and boosted their confidence about dealing with hardships in life. We usually don’t have the perspective to understand the long-term significance of events that occur in our lives. By not knowing why something happened, we learn to let go of the illusion of control because after all there are things which are better to let go of. This aids us in developing faith and believing in the goodness of ourselves and the world around us. By no means does this suggest forgetting the feelings of loss and pain but to rise above and show compassion and helping those who are going through similar situation.</p> <h2>They find strength within</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/11/word-image-958.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Another answer of why such a sudden demise of a loved one takes place or people who were supposed to be enjoying their prime years of life depart from us is it elevates us. By overcoming challenges in life we become a more refined person than we were before. We learn to deal with problems more effectively and it in the process increases our self-esteem. For some death is a part of life and they believe there is a pattern to everything. They say the universe came to existence by itself and they believe that death is just part of the cycle of life. A person leaves this place and another one replaces him and this leads to the concept of treating sudden loss as a natural occurrence as something as certain as the rising and setting of the sun. So people find solace in their own strengths and they trust the process.</p> <h2>Braving the choices you are faced with</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/11/word-image-959.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>Lastly another approach to the question of why people suffer or why life seems so unfair to some is that when you are faced with a difficulty you have to make choices. This statement is best explained by the German philosopher Gottfried Leibniz whose statement about the world in which we live in often confuses those who come across it. He said that this version of the world is the “best possible world”. Naturally everyone would at first would not be able to relate with the truth in this statement owing to their past experiences. Simply because of the fact that this statement in their opinion lacks empathy. Especially those who have experienced suffering in any form especially the grief and sorrow which accompanies the loss of a loved one. For how can you call this world where innocent, young people die the best possible world? How can you make the parents accept their loss as the best possible outcome?</p> <p>Though what Leibniz actually meant was that this system or order of the world where there is happiness and sadness, peaceful and chaotic times, contentment and suffering is a natural thing. There is balance in everything so that a person when faced with hardship can voluntarily choose to either opt for good or give up hope. Leibniz believed that this methodology of the world which presents us with difficulties and causes us to suffer shapes our personalities. We may wish to live in a perfect world and to see no suffering or negative experiences but such a world would not give us room for personal growth. Our struggles are there so that we can make choices. We can choose to throw a tantrum at anything and everything that may hurt us. On the other hand we can choose to brave our difficulties and be forgiving, merciful and kind. We can be generous and to help those who are struggling in life or we can be selfish, once again the choice is yours. Without difficulties you would not be required to make choices or express these emotion or even know that you are capable of all of this. Our life would be a straight road without any obstacles along the way which will be a monotonous life as life means struggle and accepting challenges.</p> <h2>Do not fight rather accept your grief</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/11/word-image-960.jpeg"/>Shutterstock <p>The more you try to fight with the thoughts that you are facing the more you will be drawn to them. It will be on your mind a lot more than you could actually handle. You may think it is best to push these thoughts out lest they intensify and overwhelm you. Instead of trying to confront the negative thoughts you just let them take their own course. One successful practice you could do is by envisioning someone else who faced the same hardships and came out a stronger person. Just put yourself in their shoes and imagine you are that person. This could be further explained by cinema therapy or biblio therapy where you try to relate your life with that of the characters in the movie or the book. This self-therapy makes you better imagine how certain character overcame their loss and begin your own journey in the same footsteps. The book or movie is closer to the theme of your life and you allow yourself to immerse in the ensuing sensation and feelings completely. Later on you draw the comparison between your own life and those depicted in the media and refine yourself more to endure your hardships along the same lines.</p> <p>We can try to answer the sorrow and grief accompanying an unexpected loss through the above approaches and find some solace with these answers. They are not meant to make you forget about the pain you experienced or the loved one you lost. Rather to guide you through this time, to take you on a journey of rediscovering yourself. A journey of faith and compassion and rising above our struggles. May we all find strength in difficult times in the face of adversity.</p> <i></i>