{"componentChunkName":"component---src-templates-blog-post-js","path":"/EN/6/9b87f8f2e9323a3c9c53bc80cc3d2a16_t/","result":{"data":{"site":{"siteMetadata":{"title":"Leonids"}},"markdownRemark":{"id":"b9912ed9-b985-5e5a-8f41-845364bc9529","excerpt":"","html":"<div class=\"gatsby-highlight\" data-language=\"text\"><pre class=\"language-text\"><code class=\"language-text\">     &lt;i&gt;&lt;/i&gt;   &lt;i&gt;&lt;/i&gt;   &lt;i&gt;&lt;/i&gt; 1&lt;p&gt;When you’ve invested in a relationship, it’s very easy to lose yourself. Your significant other influences all your priorities, tastes, and choices. Sometimes, it’s a beautiful feeling to be lost in someone else’s cause, where you’re lost in their thoughts day in and day out. However, sometimes, those sweet dreams can become horrid nightmares. If you either feel like the relationship is not breaking even, or if you feel like your spouse does not care for you as much as you might do about them, chances are he/she is not serious about the relationship – and truth be told, those are a slow and downhill burn, ready to torch all happiness.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Here are some signs you should look for!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Passive Aggression&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-1-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;You know that look you get when you accidentally say that one word she dislikes? That stomp your he does when you laugh too loud or chew too loudly? But your spouse was never like this before, what happened to them? These subtle gestures are acts of passive aggression and are one of the many signs of a failed relationship, whereby the limit of tolerance your spouse has, is a negative gradient curve. Not only is this unnecessary, but also is an indication that the bond you two initially had is deteriorating. Take this point with caution as these acts are ones that emerge with time, and aren’t the same as pet peeves, which never lead to anyone strike your wall of trust with the proverbial sledgehammer.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;The blame game and being jealous&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-2-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;It is only human nature to be jealous – whether you admit it or not. Why did he get that pay raise? Why does she always have the shiniest jewelry sets? This is what jealousy looks like, albeit these are very basic and surfaced examples. If your spouse is keeping an eye on you that is too close for comfort, and if you’ve seen her snooping through your call logs just to find that one number you didn’t even call – this suspicion is a killer. It won’t kill her, or that girl she’s jealous of, or you. But it will kill your trust and it will be the death of any sincerity between you too. It is often said that the very foundation of any relationship is trust. If you find yours to be shaking, you might want to consider moving before the roof caves in.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Non-constructive and excessive criticism&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-3-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;Falling in love is strange in many ways. Perhaps one of those is that when you truly, madly and deeply love someone, you fail to see their imperfections and flaws. You tell yourself to the point of persuasion that those aren’t flaws, those are just how your significant other is different than everyone else. When this stops happening, though it doesn’t signal the end of your relationship, it may sound the alarm for a failed relationship. If your spouse has suddenly begun lecturing you over some things you’ve had in constant practice for years without protest, that’s never a good sign. Though this is different from helping your spouse grow through constructive criticism, it needs to assessed subjectively.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Arguing without getting their point across&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-4-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;It is often common practice thanks to human nature for us to believe that the louder and angrier you sound, the more chances of you winning the argument. This couldn’t be any more away from the truth! If your spouse has now begun heating up and arguing over everything and that resulting to you both getting into a domestic cold war and not talking for more than just a few hours, that is bad news. A relationship needs to be mutual and needs to be a situation where both the sides are communicative. If this isn’t the case, time to rethink some basics.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Being used for favors&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-5-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;Have you ever had the feeling that your private affairs have lost meaning and have only been a means of relaxation and pleasure. Have you felt like the heat and passion have died and given way to just a one-sided experience? Well, that might mean they’re using you in more ways than one. A husband and wife relationship has many more elements that meet the eye, with trust, sexual intimacy, understanding and communication just being a very few. They all, however, have one thing in common – none can be one-sided. If you think otherwise and have good reason to, that’s a big red light. Learn to say no!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;A lack of genuine interest&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-6-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;As an old saying goes, if you’re going to do something, you may as well do it right. This has a larger scope though, as ‘right’ has more to it as accuracy or precision. This term also voices the questions of sincerity and whole-heartedness. If you think the conversations have boiled down into a mere formality and pleasantry, you’re better off with your friends who at least inquire into how your day has been – and they don’t even need to be of the opposite sex!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Destination unknown&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-7-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;A marriage doesn’t mean you’re stuck with him as your husband or that you can’t change the fact that she’s your wife. Though we can’t argue with the fact that you owe your significant other a duty of care enforced by the law, the law doesn’t hold you liable for pursuing happiness. There need to be goals, motives, objectives, and places you need to be. However, perhaps too cliché, if you’re not planning on traveling the world together or have a list of things that terrify you but still want to attempt with your spouse by your side, it’s isn’t fair. Do yourself a favor. Move on towards freedom.&lt;/p&gt;     &lt;h2&gt;Dodging glances&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-8-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;Your spouse is supposed to be that one sight for your sore eyes after a long and tiring day. Not only do you deserve it, you’ve earned it. A small conversation over a glass of cold water may not sound like a lot, but when you’ve just come and thrown off those work boots, this is nothing less than a vacation. A small getaway, if you will. A failed relationship is when this scenario is something you’ve become oblivious of. There hasn’t been a small vacation and there hasn’t been any talk over that drink she’s been pouring you every evening. A conversation has been avoided and any attempts at having a chat have been futile. Don’t think this is a moment of celebration. Know this is the opposite.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Change is good, but…&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-9-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;They say nothing in this world except the fact that things change. Change is inevitable, inescapable. Change can even be said to be necessary. However, bear in mind we’re talking about a marriage here, which is inherently never unilateral. We accept that your spouse will change. We acknowledge that you will too. However, either minimally or drastically, know that you’re both supposed to be headed in the same direction despite any changes. If this isn’t the case, and their change has become impossible to accommodate, or if yours has become unbearable for them and you can’t reverse it, this might be the time you let go. Both of you, give it a thought. Is your change worth moving on? Sometimes, it actually is.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;It’s begun to take a toll on your health&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-10-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;A fialed relationship can be damaging not only for your mental but even your physical health. When your one source of everything pleasant is the reason you now toss and turn in your bed, struggling to close your insomniac eyes, your stress levels will be an internal Everest. According to studies, stress results in the production of Cortisol – which is always deemed in a negative way? Cortisol can lead to an increased appetite and can make you want to snack some more, and then maybe some more. Do you consider that positive? No. No, you don’t.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;A tunnel with only the entrance in sight&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-11-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;Do you find yourself reminiscing the past instead of smiling at what the future holds. Sometimes a marriage can feel like a tunnel with no end, and the metaphoric light at the end of the tunnel is actually coming from the entrance. If you think your happiest moments and most cherished memories are now behind you, and if you don’t generally consider yourself a pessimist, the truth is, a failed relationship is more or is less, exactly what this is. A marriage must have short-term as well as long-term goals, but if you think yours lacks both and if you’re not comfortable with what the future might potentially hold for you, learn to let it go.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;No happiness altogether&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-12-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;Everything’s the same but nothing actually is. If your favorite song doesn’t have you singing along anymore, if you don’t feel like putting in extra effort in dressing up anymore, if your favorite food isn’t taking you into another world anymore, if you just don’t find pleasure in those little things that made your day, you’re just not happy. Happiness is perhaps the best feeling in the world, and we’re not even sure what feeling comes in at second best. What we’re sure of, however, is that a life that lacks happiness needs a severe makeover and that it is in dire need of an overhaul. Do yourself a favor. Pull yourself out of it.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;You don’t feel as safe anymore&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-13-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;A lot of women admits they feel the safest when in their husband’s arms. Sentiments akin to being safe from all that’s evil and all that scares them have been reported. A big and warm hug has even been shared to have healing powers. But that’s not all. Sometimes, you just feel a nice big boost just because you’re in the same room as your wife, or only because you just heard your husband’s car pull up in the driveway. If these feelings are rare or even absent, ask yourself what you’re doing with your life. Accept that you deserve the best, and make it happen!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;You might have contemplated harming yourself&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;img src=&quot;https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/10/d-drafting-2-10-2237-14-jpg.jpeg&quot;/&gt;Shutterstock.com &lt;p&gt;The very thought is absurd to any reasonable person. Why would someone want to damage their body or mind just to be at peace with them? Should they seek help or just think it through very properly instead? This is what any reasonable person would say, and let this news reach you – you are this very person. At least, you were before this marriage or at the beginning of it. Understand that things work very differently when you’re under the influence of pain and suffering. Your mind will feed you things that are irrelevant, disproportionate to the situation and even regretful. If your significant other has brought you to the point where you want to hurt yourself, by even as simple a means as skipping your meals, know it’s time to wrap this up.&lt;/p&gt;     &lt;p&gt;We hope you’ve found this blog helpful and picked up the basics of what it means to be in a failed relationship. Share this with your loved ones, maybe it’ll help them shape up their married life! Did it help you? Let us know!&lt;/p&gt;   &lt;i&gt;&lt;/i&gt;</code></pre></div>","frontmatter":{"mitle":"If You're Not Serious About Me, Stop Wasting My Time","description":"Marriage can be a wonderful thing – but sometimes holding on is more damaging than letting go. 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