<i></i> <i></i> <i></i> -6<p><img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/c-users-mahad-downloads-20-12-3526-01-jpg.jpeg"/></p> <p>Parenting is already hard enough with so many schools of thoughts on how to raise your children. With smallest of things like sleep training people argue which way is the best. There techniques out there, suggested by doctors that parents adopt. There are parenting styles like helicopter parenting, free-range and attachment parenting that all have people arguing on both sides. New parents are criticized from the way they hold their child to the way they talk to them. They are bombarded with information.</p> <p>Another topic that is equally complex is sexuality. Most parents don’t understand how to broach such topics let alone explain them effectively. Most parents also debate when to teach about consent. Another debate that was recently sparked by a celebrity’s picture was whether it is acceptable for parents to kiss their children on the mouth.</p> <p>Every parent wants the best for their child. They want their child to feel loved and cared about. However, the way they express their affection differs. Some parents strongly argue that display of affection is a very private decision and it shouldn’t be up for discussion. Whereas other parents strongly disagree saying that kissing on the lips can be discerned as stimulating.</p> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1496.jpeg"/> Shutterstock <p>So, the question is, is it ok to kiss your child on the lips?</p> <p>This falls in the parenting ‘grey area’ where there are valid arguments on both sides.</p> <h2>Some say it is not</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1497.jpeg"/> Shutterstock <p>Charlotte Reznick, a child and educational psychologist in UCLA, does not agree with parents kissing their children on the lips. Her argument is that lips are an amorous zone as we are conditioned to see couples kissing. She has authored the book, The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success, and suggests it better to refrain from confusing the children in this regard.</p> <p>Although she understands that parents kiss their children as a display of platonic affection, it can be sexually stimulating. She also establishes the fact that children observe their parents and because they see their parents kissing each other passionately, this might lead them to not understand the distinction between platonic and carnal display of affection.</p> <p>She specifically mentions that this is dangerous for children who are becoming sexually aware. Kids around the ages of 4 to 6 start understanding titbits about sexuality and their private parts. So even if it is acceptable to kiss them on the mouth before that, it leads to another logical question. If you start young, when do you stop? How do you communicate that one thing which was appropriate till yesterday is inappropriate today? This is also differing in different societies.</p> <p>In some societies around the world, even today, kissing your spouse, let alone children, on the lips is considered inappropriate.</p> <p>What people argue is that we are teaching them that it is acceptable to kiss everyone you love, on the lips, and not just love interests. In most cultures, you don’t kiss you friend, that you love, on the lips.</p> <p>Even in societies, where it is normal or appropriate, it can lead your child to feel embarrassed in a public setting or get made fun of. Some parents might even call you out publicly for being a bad influence or to correct you.</p> <h2>Some say it is perfectly normal</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1498.jpeg"/> Shutterstock <p>On the flip side, people argue that associating a parent’s display of affection to sexual stimulation is an insult. It, in no way, can be categorized like that and, that you can teach your child about boundaries. As far as confusion is concerned, you can explain to them the difference between a love in a couple like their mother and father, and that of the rest of the family.</p> <p>Just like it is not acceptable for everybody to hug your child or your child to hug everybody, the same way you could teach that kissing is limited to family. Many also argue that sometimes experts only know what they’ve researched in limited settings and cannot generalise for such a broad audience.</p> <p>Another psychologist, Sally-Anne McCormack, said that kissing on the lips isn’t any different from other forms of affection say back-rub or cuddling, and that saying it is confusing is absurd. She finds it shocking that people think this way, because to her, it is almost as if saying that breast-feeding is not appropriate.</p> <p>A family therapist, from Yahoo Parenting, Dr Paul Hokemeyer, shared the same view saying that it is understandable that parents want their children to know their boundaries. However, kissing on the lips isn’t out of the ordinary.</p> <p>Another psychologist from Sydney Child psychology centre said that there is nothing wrong in communicating your affection by kissing on the lips.</p> <h2>Stars who faced backlash</h2> <p>None the less, the debate was sparked on the internet when David Beckham, an international football player and his wife, Vitoria who is a singer and a model, both posted pictures of them kissing their daughter.</p> <p> Kiss for Daddy ❤️</p> <p>A post shared by David Beckham (@davidbeckham) on Jun 1, 2017 at 10:55am PDT</p> <p></p> <p>When David Beckham posted this picture, the entire internet felt the obligation to comment on it. With people calling it disgusting to people expressing their absolute joy in Beckham being a loving a parent. Vitoria also commented on this saying that this was their parenting style and they are extremely affectionate with all their children. She also expressed disgust towards people who were sexualising this act of affection.</p> <p>A similar debate was sparked when Victoria posted a picture too.</p> <p> Happy Birthday baby girl 🙏🏻💕 We all love you so much 💜💜💜 X @davidbeckham @brooklynbeckham kisses from mummy X</p> <p>A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on Jul 10, 2016 at 1:27am PDT</p> <p></p> <p>Posted over a year ago, people called her out for it too.</p> <h2>Verdict</h2> <p>Well there isn’t any verdict on this. As mentioned earlier it is an extremely personal decision. Although a minority of the parents do it, while the majority opposes it. However, it is unfair to call them out for it or label it as disgusting. It totally depends on what you believe and how you want to raise your child. There is no right and wrong.</p> <p>Some parents want to reinforce physical love and affection whereas others want to teach strict physical boundaries to their children. Both are right. No one group should have a right to shame the other for the way they choose to parent.</p> <i></i>