<i></i> <i></i> <i></i> 0<p><img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/c-users-mahad-downloads-20-12-3520-jpg.jpeg"/></p> <p>There are many telling signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder – grandiosity, excessive self-enhancement, lack of empathy and hypersensitivity to criticism. Most of us think that all narcissists fall in the same category but that is not necessarily true. “If you focus too much on the stereotype,” advises psychologist, and author of <em>Rethinking Narcissism</em>, Craig Malkin. “You’ll miss red flags that have nothing to do with vanity or greed.” It is indeed difficult to differentiate narcissists from normal people with healthy egos.</p> <p>Narcissists are generally observed to come across as self-centred, arrogant and demanding. They are highly skilled in manipulation and use their words to turn people and conversations in their favour. You will hardly ever find a narcissistic individual who does not have a hidden agenda behind everything they say or do. Their goal is always self-enhancement, in order to boost their already high self-esteem. “Those things in themselves will prevent you from seeing that you have these problems,” says psychology professor Zlatan Krizan. In other words, most narcissists are not aware of their narcissism.</p> <p>Here are 19 things you might hear from a narcissist that you can use to pinpoint what they really mean and want. They may seem like very ordinary statements to make but what matters is figuring out the true intentions behind them.</p> <h2>19. “I love you” = Damn! You almost figured out my real intentions. I must distract you.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1445.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>They use loving and intimate words to break your train of thought. When a narcissist senses that you are beginning to suspect that you are being manipulated, they will emotionally manipulate you further by lying to you. Indeed, words of love and adoration are the best manipulator because they stroke the receiving person’s ego and gives them a sense of false security and happiness.</p> <h2>18. “I’m sorry” = Just forget about it. I need attention right now.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1446.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Narcissists do not like admitting when they made a mistake. They often externalize blame, placing it on someone else. Narcissism researcher W. Keith Campbell observes, “They’re good at making excuses and not taking credit for mistakes they make.” Their apologies are shallow and quick, meant to make you get over it and concentrate on complimenting them instead.</p> <h2>17. “You are my soulmate” = I’m enjoying this moment… but just for a little while.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1447.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>When you share an intimate or spiritual moment, narcissists are likely to come across as passionate and intense. However, they will go back on their word as soon as the moment is over. This is because they only care about feeling good by themselves and not about you or your feelings.</p> <h2>16. “That never happened” = I made a mistake but I do not want to admit it.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1448.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Like mentioned before, narcissists do not like to admit that they made a mistake. They want to be viewed as perfect and flawless. Even mentioning their mistakes or faults can irk and anger them. They would rather pretend that it never happened in the first place.</p> <h2>15. “You’re too sensitive” = Stop talking about my bad behaviour.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1449.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>A favourite tactic used by most narcissists is tagging someone as sensitive or paranoid. When confronted with evidence of their bad behaviour, they prefer ignoring it and attacking the other person. When the other person actually starts believing that are overthinking, the narcissist has won. In their own eyes, they are innocent in every situation and they will do the most to convince others that they are.</p> <h2>14. “I’m your mother/father” = I have the right to control your entire life.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1450.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Even if it is said jokingly, be wary when a narcissist insists that they are like your parent. This means that they believe that you are emotionally and intellectually inferior to them and that they are able to manipulate you in whatever way they like.</p> <h2>13. “Forgive and forget” = Keep on tolerating my abuse no matter what.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1451.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>While forgiveness is healthy for your mind and emotional wellbeing, it is not a good habit if you are on the receiving end of endless abuse. Abuse comes in many forms – physical, emotional and mental – and no one should ever put up with it. It is important to know when to remove yourself from a toxic person or relationship. Forgive but never forget.</p> <h2>12. “I have never met anyone like you” = You’re all the same. I have you all wrapped around my finger.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1452.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>If a narcissist insists that they are attracted to you because you are different from other people, be cautious. This tells you that they view people in general as ‘bad’ and consider themselves above them. It is highly unlikely for a narcissist to consider anyone their equal. This is probably why they are also more prone to cheating and infidelity than normal individuals.</p> <h2>11. “My ex-girlfriend was crazy” = She found out about my abuse. I must keep you away from her.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1453.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Note how they talk about their ex-partners. If they constantly paint them in a negative light, this means that something is up. Their ex probably figured out the narcissist’s true intentions and left them. Now, they wish to keep you away from their ex so that you don’t find out the truth either and leave them too.</p> <h2>10. “I’ve been waiting to settle down” = I’m only saying this so that you think I’m nice and responsible.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1454.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>No matter what they tell you, narcissists do not like to settle down. One of the most telling signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a trail of bad relationships, both personal and professional. Including the fact that are very likely to cheat and lie to you, their promises of settling down are mainly empty and meaningless.</p> <h2>9. “Stop living in the past” = Move on already so that I can abuse you.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1456.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>They will urge you to ‘get over’ your problems without bothering to listen to or comforting you. They will, however, tell you their problems and seek comfort and consolation from you.</p> <h2>8. “She’s crazy” = I’m stressed out. I think she knows the truth about me and will tell others.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1458.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Whenever they sense that someone could be getting closer and closer to figuring out their true essence, a narcissist will not hesitate in dropping names. They like to label others negatively so that people would believe their word over the accuser’s.</p> <h2>7. “I don’t have an anger problem” = Does it matter anyway? I will still abuse you no matter what.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1460.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>They will constantly give excuses about their behaviour or completely deny it. The more chances you give them, the more opportunities they receive to use you. It becomes a never-ending toxic circle.</p> <h2>6. “I’m upset” = Give me more attention.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1462.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>They demand your utmost attention when they are upset. They act clingy and needy. They try their most to keep you occupied with them. Do not mistake this as romantic – this will only last as long as they need you, which isn’t that long. Obviously, they will not reciprocate these actions for you when you are upset.</p> <h2>5. “I don’t want to communicate” = Flatter and pamper me.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1464.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Rather than talking things out, they prefer cutting off communication altogether. They often resort to emotional blackmail and coercion to punish someone or to get their way. The only way to make them warm up to you again is by flattering and complimenting them.</p> <h2>4. “Cheaters are scum” = I am cheating on you and you cannot complain.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1466.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Note if they are extra passionate about topics like cheating or infidelity. For narcissists, their image and reputation mean everything to them. They resort to hypocrisy often. So, if they appear very opposed to an idea, chances are that they are likely doing it secretly.</p> <h2>3. “Nobody likes you” = Nobody likes me but I will project myself onto you.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1468.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Narcissists work by breaking down other peoples’ self-esteem in order to build theirs. Sometimes, they may also sense that other people do not like them. For example, they may think, “I’m perfect and amazing but why does everyone always leave me?” However, rather than admit that they are the problem, they blame others. In order to manipulate them better, they isolate them from the world and target their insecurities.</p> <h2>2. “I am so modest” = You should be honoured that I am abusing you.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1470.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>Narcissists are always the opposite of what they say they are. They love praising themselves and like to mention themselves in every topic of conversation. When they tell stories, they portray themselves as the hero or the victim. Because they strongly believe in their own words, they do not understand when someone tells them that they are treating other people poorly or have evil intentions.</p> <h2>1. “You’re the problem” = I am the problem but I don’t care.</h2> <img src="https://cdnone.netlify.com/db/2017/12/word-image-1472.jpeg"/>Shutterstock.com <p>They will almost always place the blame on someone else for their own faults. In their eyes, they are perfect and incapable of making mistakes. This avoidance strategy works by making the other person feel worse about themselves while increasing the narcissist’s confidence.</p> <i></i>